Jealous
by loosenings
Summary: Jealousy's past, present.. and future in Karakuridôji Ultimo.
1. Jealousy

**A/N: I've been following Ultimo from the very beginning, and I think that Jealousy/ doesn't deserve enough credit. What if Jealousy was the one narrating **_**Karakuridouji Ultimo**_**? **

**Please R&R!**

"**If you want to test a man's character, give him power." – Abraham Lincoln**

* * *

I opened my eyes.

I was laying down on something hard, and my hands felt equally hard walls around me. My vision wasn't very good – there was some sort of pink haze preventing my eyes from seeing details. But I could see light ahead of me. That much I could make out.

"Heh, he's supposed to be one of the Seven Deadly Sins? He can't even withdraw his visors!" A mocking, rough voice muttered from above me. Sudden anger took a hold of me and I furiously blinked, removing the pink haze (visors, he said?) from in front of my eyes.

I looked up, now clearly, at the person that was insulting me. He had a bald head, and he had narrowed, serious eyes and visors, like mine. He had on clothes that seemed unusually… outdated. I felt an instant dislike towards him.

I sat up. Even though he was standing and I was sitting, I could tell he was visibly shorter than me. I also noticed that he had delicate, ceramic-like skin that was similar to mine.

"Who are you?" I said, with as much authority as I could muster.

He smirked. "Regula. A karakuridôji. One of the Six Perfections. I represent Discipline." Regula said this with obvious pride, crossing his small arms across his chest. I glared at him, confused. I didn't understand anything of this. Where am I? Who am I?

I looked down to see that I, unlike him, was only dressed in a simple white hakama. There was spider in the middle of the sash that tied them.

"You said that I was one of the Seven Deadly Sins? What did you mean by that?" I asked him, busy taking in my surroundings. I was sitting in a wooden box, and there was writing on the lid on the floor next to it. I was in some sort of a lab, judging from the various technology and numerous measuring scales and graduated cylinders. I noticed that there were dozens; possibly hundreds of closed pods surrounding the steel walls, and that inside of them were people (Are they human?) that looked…. Just like Regula and me. Unlike us though, they looked incomplete, with bubbles, tubes, and pipes surrounding them.

I noticed that there were two pods in the center of the room that were empty. The imprinted label on them said _Vice _and _Ultimo_.

Directly behind me, there was another empty pod, labeled _Envy._

I was confused beyond relief. Regula also said something about himself being a "dôji". Obviously from our similar features, I was one too. But what does that mean?

"Idiot." Regula rolled his eyes. Anger rose up in me again. "Don't you know? About the battle between good and evil? I'm on the good, perfect side, while you're on the evil, ugly side." He crossed his arms, looking down at me.

"So you think you're perfect?" I snapped, stepping out of the box.

As a matter of fact, I do," He said smugly. "Why do you think I'm one of the six _Perfections_? Unlike you, you dirty, nasty, ugly, stupid-"

I felt expanding power in my hands, and in an attempt to use it I made a dangerous, hard swipe at that stupid bald head of his. Regula quickly ducked, and I could his round face contort into a fiery expression.

It was almost as if I couldn't even _control _the situation. As if we were meant to hate each other.

Suddenly I felt a cold, strong hand on my shoulder. I glared up to see a tall man. He wore a lab coat, and under them a suit with a tie. The wrinkles on his hands and face were deep set, as if he's had them all of his life. His glasses had a shine to them that seemed to see right through me. That feeling of intimidation he was projecting at Regula and me was unsettling. He looked down at both of us, as if we were his pets.

Were we?

"Jealousy's awake." He remarks, directing his gaze at Regula, who was pointing his…. hands at me. Except they weren't hands, they were-

"I see that you both were able to activate your gauntlets." The old man said. I stared down at myself to see that I too, had blue gauntlets.

"Regula, go back to your case. I would need to transport you two soon. Besides… don't you think it's _wrong _of you? "

"Yes, Dr. Dunstan. I'm sorry." Regula nodded and walked away obediently, but I saw a hint of hateful rebellion in his eyes as he glanced back at the old man.

I was beginning to feel that this man was an enemy.

"As for you," Dr. Dunstan turned his head to stare at me, and I brushed his hand off my shoulder with my gauntlets.

"Where am I? What do you mean 'transport'?" I demanded.

He gently pushed me down back into the box before answering. "All of that will be answered in _time_." The knowing gleam in his eyes shined brighter.

As I sat down in the box, staring with confusion and awe at this man, he checked my eyes, arms, legs, whispering things such as "Motor skills are working fine…" finally he gave a hard knock on my chest, which made it open up. I saw – and felt – a mysterious glow from inside of me.

"This spirit sphere is very special," He whispered, almost talking to himself. "You must not let anything harm it or let anybody touch it unless you want to swear the vow with them."

_The vow? _What is that?

"You are a karakuridôji – robotic boy," He continued, before I could ask. "I, Dr. Dunstan, made you to follow your more powerful brother, Vice, whom I created before you. You represent one of the Seven Deadly Sins, not to mention one of the strongest, purest evils there are. You were made to fight alongside Vice, in a war to try to defeat another karakuridôji named Ultimo."

I absorbed all of this with curiosity. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him.

"But," He sighed. "You are not exactly _as_ strong as Vice. Not even as strong as Ultimo, who opposes you. Vice is stronger, smarter, and most of all, _eviler_ than you will ever be."

I was stupid then. I know that now. I couldn't realize back then that that charismatic, intimidating, pretentious Dr. Dunstan was trying on purpose to piss me off.

But I will never forget that moment. The _feeling _that washed over me, making me forget the questions I had about my creation, my surroundings, and the others that looked like me. My eyes widened at his insulting remarks as he gently laid me completely down on the floor of the case.

It made me so angry, so _hateful_, of everything around me. I wanted to tear the damn wooden box up and punch the doctor and that short, bald-headed freak Regula with my gauntlets. But I also felt a _thrill _along with this feeling, as destroying everything will make me happy. As if this feeling was a natural part of me.

But I refrained from doing these gratifying actions when Dr. Dunstan whispered, right before covering my case,

"Prove that you are stronger than everybody else, and you will be the greatest. Sleep now."

That feeling overtook me again, but instead of making me angry, it calmed me. I thought about these "brothers" I had – Vice and Ultimo. Were they indeed stronger than me? Could I ever beat them at their own game?

These thoughts fueled that feeling inside me that was now keeping me motivated, breathing, _alive. _I closed my eyes and smiled. Perhaps with evil thoughts in my head, perhaps not. For when I was first created, I did not know the difference between good and evil, unlike now.

My name is Jealousy. I am one of the evil Karakuridôji that represents one of the Seven Deadly Sins: Envy.


	2. Tomomitsu

**"The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse." – Edmund Burke**

* * *

I didn't exactly have the best sleep in the world. Even for a robot.

The next time I woke up, it wasn't by my own will – somebody had poked me hard in my chest – where my spirit sphere (or whatever that doctor called it) was located. I instinctively batted away with my gauntlets whoever dared to touch me.

"Master, he's awake!" A squeaky voice gasped. I heard fear in it.

"Move aside," somebody else said with an excited, yet authoritative voice.

I opened my eyes, wisely withdrawing my visors before doing so.

Instead of lying on the ground, my case and I were propped up against a wall. I wasn't in the lab anymore. The architecture of the room, and the clothes that they wore, looked too basic and outdated compared to my previous surroundings.

I saw, in front of me, two men. One was obviously a servant, judging by his simple, dirty shirt and shorts. The other was dressed in a regal kimono. He had laugh lines etched in his aged face, but he didn't look like he was often happy. His eyes were instead cruel.

Great, another old man.

I stepped out of the box, eyeing these two. The servant stepped back in fear, while the master stepped forward. He looked gleeful.

"My, my, my," He chuckled to himself. "Look at you. This is a wonderful gift that Dunstan gave me!"

_Gift_? It seemed everywhere I looked; I was being degraded by one level to another.

I merely glared at him. He was ugly, and he felt inferior to me.

"We must take the vow immediately, as Dr. Dunstan instructed." The old man stepped forward again. The servant by this time was completely backed up against the wall.

I remembered the doctor's words, "_You must not let anybody touch it unless you want to swear the vow with them_."

Did I want to commit the "vow" with this pesky old man? I don't think any dôji would have wanted to.

I was about to refuse and kill him, but then – I heard something.

I didn't hear it with my _ears_, to be technical. It felt like something penetrated my mind, as if I was _thinking _it.

_Finally, with a powerful dôji like this, I can beat that inferior bandit Yamato and his Ultimo! _I heard.

The voice was the old man's that was standing before me.

He knew about Ultimo? I knew that name from what Dr. Dunstan told me. Ultimo was apparently stronger and better than me, as being the leader of 'good' dôji, like Regula.

I also knew that beyond anything else, I had to destroy this dôji. Then, I could prove myself to be the strongest creation in the universe.

So I let opened my chest for the master, and he touched my spirit sphere. I heard him silently gasp in pain, and I saw the seal of our vow now etched into his arm. Instantly I felt new power flood inside me. My fingers curled into fists. I transformed my gauntlets to hands, then back. It felt easier than ever.

I heard the servant yelp in surprise. I directed my gaze to him, and he covered his face.

_Please please please don't kill me, _I heard him think.

Coward.

"Ah, good thinking," My new master said, turning to cast his attention on the servant. "You found your first experiment to test your power."

He glanced at my gauntlets. "Kill him."

By a force unknown, I did as he ordered. My gauntlets unleashed silvery string, tying the servant up against the wall, before they transformed into two blades. I sliced the man in half before he had time to comprehend what was happening.

"Excellent." My master said, leaning down to inspect the severed remains of his slave.

"This is curious," He reached out and touched the string I tied the servant with, rubbing it between his fingers. "It has the consistency of the silk in a spider web." He muttered to himself.

He stood up straight and turned to look at me. "Where are my manners? I am the revered noble Iruma Tomomitsu. You, my karakuridôji, may simply call me Lord Tomomitsu."

"Hello," I said simply, turning my gauntlets back into hands. I flexed the muscles in them. There was no way in all the seven hells I was going to call him my 'Lord'. I was, in my opinion, greater than him.

"You can call me Jealousy."

So, I was introduced as his personal head servant Jealousy to his wife, and the rest of his servants. To them, I was just that – a servant. But I knew my true place in the world.

"You may address him as your Lord Jealousy." Tomomitsu said.

"Jealousy… that is a strange name…" his wife remarked.

"Who are you to call somebody strange?" My master snarled at her, closing his fan abruptly. "I can't even stand to look at you!"

While I was dressed in the basic clothes of a servant, and I withdrew my gauntlets, visors, and the rocket boosters under my clothes to appear as a lowly slave, my master made it clear that I was on a high position along with him.

"You must treat him with outmost respect and reverence. If I see one scratch on him from any of you, you all know the consequences." Tomomitsu told everyone I was introduced to.

Even though it may be because I was feared due to Tomomitsu's orders, everyone whom I encountered looked at me with awe. One of the Noble's duties was to view the land that the peasants under his rule owned. When he visited, he mostly either took the land away from the owners or insulted them. While he scolded them for not following his orders, they would gawk at me, marveling at my clear, unmarked skin or my long, black hair.

Once a peasant girl on the side of a dirt road, who was almost naked with her poor scraps of garment wrapped around her body, pointed at me and screamed, "Look everyone! Look at the pretty doll!"

Tomomitsu scoffed as we passed by in an elaborately decorated carriage. I closed the curtains in disgust, and I heard the little girl cry.

"Ignorant peasants." He rolled his eyes. "Those vile creatures know nothing, and they barely make any effort to try to. All they do is steal food, land, clothes, and money from others and then screw up everything they touch."

I patiently listened to everything he said, but secretly looked through his thoughts for information on Ultimo, Vice, or even that bandit Yamato. I wanted to know about where they were located, or generally any information about them.

But I couldn't find any. I never told Tomomitsu about my ability to read other's minds, but nevertheless his mind was well guarded. This angered me. That I couldn't read most of his thoughts, and sometimes when he wasn't looking I would secretly cut his robes or his furniture into pieces with my gauntlets. It gave me deep satisfaction the next morning when I heard him yell at his maids about the disastrous state of his belongings.

Besides from the occasional visit of a servant to give me food (though I was a robot, I strangely needed food like every human) and Tomomitsu's constant requests to secretly kill one of his rebellious slaves, I was alone in the Noble's palace. Not that I spent any time in it.

In my spare time I often flew away from any civilization, into the woods. There, I practiced the full extent of my dôji abilities. I learned that I could spin spider webs that can tie around anything (even animals as small as an ant) into a strict hold. I learned that I could also grow my gauntlets into a blade that was longer than the tallest tree in the forest. With these blades, I could slice anything – _anything_ – into thin air.

One rainy day, when I arrived back from the forest, Tomomitsu was there on the back balcony.

"I've been waiting for you." He said.

_No shit, _I thought. As I landed I withdrew my dôji characteristics. He was unnecessarily strict about my appearance before other mere humans.

"You must hurry and put on these new robes." The Noble instructed as he thrust a tightly wrapped package at me.

I caught it and untied the strings holding it together. Inside were clothes that were still obviously of lower rank than Tomomitsu's, but they had a gold lining to them.

After I put them on, Tomomitsu quickly ushered me outside into his carriage.

"Where are we going?" I inquired. I didn't mind at all when we traveled (it was something to do, since no action was going on), but he had a look of serious urgency on his face.

"We're going to my niece's palace for about two weeks. I am in charge of her estates, and right now they might be in jeopardy. She refuses to marry any man she lays eyes on. But I just received an offer from Emperor Kotsutsubono that he wants to marry her. I'm going to give her two choices: either she marries him, or I disown her and she'll be thrown out into the streets."

The driver, with a dreamy expression on his face, blurted out "The Princess is certainly the most beautiful lady in all of Japan. She can have any man she wants!"

"You shut up!" the Noble smacked the driver with the back of his hand. The driver whimpered and whipped the horses that carried our carriage into a run.

Bored, I looked out the window. My master was supposed to train me and teach me about evil and good, but right now all we were doing was driving around.

Maybe after we visit this Princess, I'll kill my master, or threaten him to give me information about Ultimo. That would be easy.


	3. Princess Of The Moonlight

**A/N: I've heard so many translations of Rune/Lune's past life's name (Lady Gekko, Princess of the Moonlight, Maiden of the Moon/Midnight) that I'm confused beyond relief. So I decided to barely use any of them.**

**"Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves." – Joseph Addison**

* * *

When we arrived in front of Tomomitsu's niece's palace, I immediately hopped out of the carriage, regardless of the stormy weather. One cannot describe the annoyance and the urge to kill Tomomitsu I felt over the past hours that I was sitting next to him mindlessly talking about political affairs.

I was supposed to be one of _the_ Seven Deadly Sins, yet I was stuck with this lazy, greedy Noble who did nothing for me.

"Here we are in Kyoto!" Tomomitsu announced, walking up next to me. He attempted to lay a hand on my shoulder, and I pushed him away in response.

"Stay the fuck away from me," I seethed under my breath.

The Noble ignored this gesture and walked quickly in front of me. There were two heavyset ladies waiting at the front gate of the palace, under the rooftop. They whispered among themselves.

According to the rehearsed cue, I stayed behind Tomomitsu, like any other faithful servant will do. Our driver trudged behind us with the horses; slack jawed at the elegant scenery of peonies and maple trees around us. Even with the bad weather, they were beautiful. I rolled my eyes at him and looked up at the sky. Cumulonimbus clouds. This wasn't going to be a simple, short rainstorm at all.

When our group approached the ladies, I could see that they looked nervous and distressed. They were dressed elegantly in a full-length kimono. The two ladies looked ugly, with their sweaty faces, big lips, and puffy black hair.

But their minds were so open and unguarded to me. I've never seen two idiots like them. Nobody knew about my mind-reading abilities, but most humans I've seen had at least some type of guard around their thoughts and minds. These two didn't.

_What if the Princess doesn't accept Lord Tomomitsu's offer?_ One thought.

_Our fate is standing right in front of us – will we get kicked out of this beautiful place? _The other thought.

The rest of their thoughts were too boring/stupid to listen to.

"Good afternoon, ladies." The Noble made a thin smile. They gasped and bowed. Obviously they weren't on a high rank if they were so nervous about everything.

Cowards.

"Who's that little man behind you?" One of the ladies asked, looking behind Tomomitsu's robe at me.

I narrowed my eyes at being called 'little'. The audacity of humans is probably something that I will never get used to.

"Oh," the Noble turned to look at me briefly, as if I was a leaf. "He's my personal servant Jealousy."

_What an odd name – Jealousy? _I heard one of them think.

_He's so handsome…. Short, but handsome… _the other thought.

I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes again.

"Anyway," The Noble continued. "Please take me to the Princess right away."

"We shall!" And so they led us through the main doors of the palace. Inside, it was beautiful, much more so than my master's palace. The floors were made out of firm mahogany wood. I smelled the linen from the bedrooms, and I could tell that they were probably replaced daily.

Even the servants seemed elegant. I now know that those two idiots leading us were two of them, and they were both dressed in a better kimono than the Noble's wife.

I felt the envy emanating from the Noble. He was jealous of the richness that surrounded him. His feelings seemed to give me more power, as if I tasted clean, crisp water (which is hard to find, in this time).

Finally, one of the ladies rapped on one of the doors. I heard a soft, muffled voice say, "Go away."

"But Princess, your Uncle Iruma Tomomitsu is here! I'm sure you want to talk to him…?"

I heard the voice sigh. "Fine, I'll come out."

The lady slid the lady open, and then, slowly, the Princess glided out.

At first I thought that the Princess was too, a dôji. After all, she was… _beautiful_. Her cream-colored skin and her blonde hair seemed to shine, even without any sunlight hitting it. She wore a richly colored kimono of blues, whites, and purples. Though she was the outmost form of delicacy, I saw an enduring fire of aggressiveness in her eyes.

The Noble seemed to be fazed by her goddess-like appearance, but he soon regained himself.

"Ah, my dear niece!" He hugged the Princess and patted her head. I could tell that she didn't like to be touched. When they pulled away, the Noble asked her shallow questions about her health, the state of her family's fortune (Her parents are apparently dead), and most of all, the engagements she's been having with possible suitors for marriage.

I eventually tuned out this conversation and looked away from the group to the hallway. The floors, walls, and doors were well scrubbed, but I could tell they forgot about the ceiling. The dusted surface had bugs crawling all on it. I could see a huge spider web on one side of the ceiling. There was a black spider on it, gazing with curiosity at the commotion below it.

"Well, we're going to be staying here for about, eh, two weeks, due to the bad weather," the Noble gestured outside.

_Two weeks… _I couldn't stand this idleness. Why did that idiot Tomomitsu always drag everything out?

The Princess' two servants, as stupid as they were, shared my thoughts. "B-but Lord Tomomitsu, our Lady isn't used to having guests over for more than a day!"

"Yes I am," the Princess muttered. She glared at her servant, silencing her.

"W-well, I guess I'll just have to show the Lord to his room then," the other servant said, trying to end the dreadful conversation.

"What about my, ah… servant?" Tomomitsu gestured behind him, towards me.

"He can stay in the servant's quarters, of course." The two ladies said in unison and scurried away, leading the noble.

"Down the hall, to the left! If you see a servant of this palace, ask him which door!" One of them yelled after me as they walked away.

_I'm being degraded even more?_ I was angry that the Noble decided to not stick up for me. _He _gets to sleep in probably a room filled with riches, while I'm reduced to the sickly servant's sleeping room.

At least now, at night, I can escape quietly from the Palace and train in the rich forest that surrounded this palace. Or perhaps escape forever, away from my master. I myself wasn't sure about the limits of control a master had on his dôji, but I was hoping that they didn't stretch far.

"Um, excuse me…" My thoughts were suddenly interrupted. I turned around, and it was the Princess herself, looking questionably at me. She was surprisingly shorter than me (By now I was used to anybody referring to me as either a doll or a boy)

"What is it?" I had no interest in humans by this time, considering how much of a greedy asshole my master was.

"Forgive me for asking, but aren't you awfully pale for being a servant?" She asked me.

_That's because I'm not._

"Just because I'm a servant, doesn't mean that I'm damned to be out in the sun all the time." I answered her. She moved back, shocked at my rudeness.

"Shit…" I turned away from her, and started to walk away. Suddenly, I felt her hand swat me in the back.

"What the hell?" I turned around, to see that she was still trying to hit my back with a determind expression.

"What are you doing?" I batted her hands away. "Just because I said something that was out of line with Your Highness, doesn't mean you have to-"

"No! It's not that! Well, yes, I think you _are _pretty rude b-but there's a spider on your back!" Just as she said this, the spider crawled onto my shoulder, into my view.

She yelped and tried to hit it off with her kimono sleeve.

"Stop it." I commanded her with a firm, yet exasperated voice. I plucked the spider off by its backside and carefully placed it on the wall, where it climbed back up to its spider web.

"Why did you do that?" She continued to stare at the spider with horror.

"It was only a pholcid spider. And even if it was trying to bite me, it would have done so by now." I told her slowly.

And it couldn't, anyway. I'm a karakuridôji – _nothing_ can harm me.

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to call my maid to get rid of all the spider webs in my home!" She swiftly turned around.

I couldn't help but be amazed by her childishness.

"Just because they look deadly doesn't mean spiders are out to kill you." I said, the serious tone of my voice making her stop in her tracks.

"Then why were they created?" She turned around.

"They get rid of bugs that do want to kill you." I said simply. After saying that, I walked away from her. I made sure to close the front doors behind me.

Kyoto forests have, I noticed, noticeably less trees than the forest near Tomomitsu's palace. After cutting a few trees with my blades, I knew I could be clearly seen by the people living in the palace. Regardless, I stayed outside for the rest of the day. After the sun set, I saw a few of the servants light torches. The Noble probably didn't want to lose his prized possession: me.

I quietly hid up in one of the tree branches as they checked every tree. When I was sure none of them were looking in my direction, I quietly flew up into the sky and back to the palace.

The next morning, I was commanded to go to my master's room. As I expected, it was regal and grand: the furniture seemed have gold chips embedded in them, and the curtains were woven from pure silk. In the middle of all of this, my "Lord" Tomomitsu was waving a fan at himself as if he had no care in the world.

My hands curled into fists. After a night of sneaking into the servant's quarters, only to see that it was just a small room cramped with slaves (albeit dressed elegantly) snoring, I was not in the mood to be presented with these frivolous surroundings.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Last night, I was coming to get you from the servant's room so that you could spend the night sleeping in my grand room, but I noticed that you were gone." He turned and glared at me.

It was false. I didn't even have to read his thoughts. Somebody who was as greedy and shallow as him wouldn't allow anybody else to share in his riches.

"I sent out some field workers to search for you, and later they reported that while they couldn't find you, they saw a 'large shooting star' fly directly above them, towards this palace."

I saw where he was going with this.

"It doesn't matter that they saw something as unusual as a close shooting star flying. They didn't even fucking see me." I quickly interjected.

That's when the Noble slapped me straight across my face. It didn't hurt at all, but my eyes widened with shock and anger nonetheless. Meanwhile, his teeth clenched in pain – the surface of my skin was harder than expected.

"Why you-" My hands started to lengthen into gauntlets. The anger inside was generating energy yet again. I was learning that I was easily provoked.

But this was the last straw, for me. I was sick of his constant whining. He was not fit to be _my _master.

I was about to slice this asshole into fucking pieces when he commanded, "Stop, Jealousy!"

You wouldn't expect the simple command of "stop" to prevent me from killing (I was an evil dôji; why the hell should I stop from causing destruction?), but it did. I crumbled to the ground, my gauntlets turning back into human hands. I curled my fingers into rueful fists.

"What the hell… was that?" I gasped.

"You are not allowed to venture outside the palace grounds without me. You will never again talk back to me or try to kill me. And you will _never reveal anything unusual to the other residents that live here_." He ordered me all of this, and as he did I felt my energy drain away.

So masters do have some control over their dôji, I thought.

Tomomitsu chuckled maliciously. "You wouldn't want anybody to find out about your true identity, hm? Right, _Jealousy_?"

I glared at him straight in the eyes as I struggled to stand up.

"You are dismissed. Get out of my room." The Noble turned away from me to look out his window.

Hate swirled inside me as I trudged to the door. I hated myself for not killing him before he gave those idiotic orders. Now I am forever bound to them, _because he was my master_.

My hate turned into surprise as I slid open the door to see the Princess step back in alarm. She was obviously listening in on our little fight. But how much did she hear?

"I-I'm sorry." She stammered. Her voice was timid, like a baby lamb's. "I mean, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. You were right. I asked one of my advisors to get rid of the spiders, a-and he said, just like you, that spiders were there to get rid of poisonous bugs."

Her words stumbled over one another. While she was busy apologizing to me for something that I had long forgotten about, I searched her mind.

_What were they fighting about? What did Uncle mean about Jealousy? His 'true identity'? He doesn't look very dangerous or evil, or whatever he was implying… _I heard her think.

"I don't care anymore," I answered, walking past her. "The incident's over and in history now."

"B-but wait!" She followed after me.

_What now?_

"How do you speak so, well… eloquently? How do you know so much – I mean, at least about spiders?"

To tell the truth, I didn't know how I knew so many words (and profanity, for that matter). Or where my knowledge came from. The Noble never bothered to teach me when he learned that I already knew so much. Dunstan must have imputed all of this information into me during my making. I never really thought about it.

"I'm not stupid, your highness," I instead answered her. "I may be of lower rank that you, but I'm certainly more intelligent than most humans."

I was taking out my uncertain anger on her, and she looked hurt as a result.

A tiny being inside of me told me to apologize. Was it my soul?

I tried to ignore it. I was created to destroy and be cunning and malicious and evil. But yet-

"I'm sorry. That was out of my place." I said, immediately regretting every word.

"I-It's all right." The Princess said. "I apologize for my uncle on how badly he treats her."

"You're the first one to notice."

"Doesn't he make you want to kill him? All yesterday he was nagging me on marrying that awful emperor, and I just wanted to be like a snake and give him a slow, painful death by snake bite." She looked like she regretted what she just said too.

"Well," I said, looking her in the eye. "If I could, I would be a monster and wipe him off this Earth."

But I couldn't.

And that's how it began. After my disappearance and my odd return the first night, most of the servants in the palace stayed away from me. That didn't bother me. What did piss me off was the Noble's sudden demand for me. Each night, after Tomomitsu pleaded with the Princess to take the Emperor's hand in marriage in vain, he took ten, maybe more, of the Palace's servants and workers outside the gates. There, he would order and watch me slaughter them like pigs.

His petty behavior by killing off those that the Princess needed, soon worked. The morning after her gardener mysteriously disappeared, she found me walking through one of the palace's many hallways with a fearful expression.

"I'm so scared, Jealousy. It seems as if one by one, the people dearest to me are being picked off!"

"And why are you telling me this?" I sneered at her. She was annoying, yet I always seemed to see her every day, no matter how much I tried to avoid it.

She bit her lip. She was increasingly nervous, at least around me. Around her uncle though, she was defiant. I witnessed this first-hand, and I couldn't help but admire (and envy) her confidence in the word 'no'.

"I- Well- there's no one to talk to here. My two servants aren't exactly the kind of people you would want to talk to, all Uncle wants is to marry me off to the Emperor, and my advisors agree with him!"

"Then why don't you talk to some of your remaining servants?"

_What if they're gone the next day? _I heard her think. I fell silent. Again, that tiny being inside of me emitted an unknown feeling – sympathy? Pity?

"I can't," She shook her head. "Most of them aren't even close to my age."

"What makes you think I am?"

The Princess narrowed her eyes. She opened She quickly huffed and walked away.

Still, she continued to come back to talk to me. The Princess would appear by my side and chat with me (she did most of the talking) as soon as nobody was watching her. It would sometimes… scare me, as to how she found me.

Once she had found me, I tried to brush her off and ignore her futile attempts at starting a conversation with me, but soon that was hard.

"How did you come to know my Uncle?" She would ask me. Every time she asked that, I would just ignore it, because I just did not have an answer.

Finally one day, I had enough of this repeating question. This time, she had 'found me' in her courtyard, examining the clouds in the sky. I heard her thoughts before she asked, and I sighed in surrender.

"He just… hired me, per se. I had nowhere to go." I lied. But in the way, this was true. What if I never met the Noble and bound to him? Where would I have gone? These thoughts never made me respect the Noble more, but I still thought them.

"Wow. I never knew that he was so… sympathetic." She rubbed her eyes and squinted up at the sky with me.

"You shouldn't do that." I told her.

"I know," she squeezed her eyes shut and blinked them open again. "But it doesn't make a difference. My eyesight seems to be failing me no matter what lately."

I remembered Dunstan's glasses. Would they cure this condition that she had? I wondered what she would look like with them on.

"Anyway," She changed the subject. "What about your life before? Where're your parents?"

"I don't have parents." I simply said. And I don't (unless you count that pompous Dr. Dunstan as my father). It was one of the few things that I never longed for. Tomomitsu had a son somewhere in the army, and all the Noble said of him was insulting.

"Oh. I-I'm sorry." The Princess _did _look sorry. "I know how you feel. My parents died early in my life too."

I gazed at her eyes. They were like glass, filling up with sadness. I quickly turned away with sneers about the human race. It was weird how humans placed the people that simply created them in so high regard. But underneath all of these callous remarks, I felt that same feeling again for the Princess– I was sure it was sympathy.

I couldn't believe how soft I was getting.

On the Monday night of the second week, I was sitting outside the kitchen, next to some boxes of ice, wine, and fish. It was long after the sun had set, and the Noble and the Princess had gone to their rooms to sleep. My gauntlets were bloody from the last set of men I had killed. The Noble went inside from the front door, but I, being his inferior servant, had to enter from the back door, directly behind the kitchen. I gritted my teeth at the memory.

I quickly transformed my gauntlets back into human hands as a servant passed by me to enter the kitchen. In the middle of the night, the (remaining) servants liked to sit around the butcher's counter to drink and tell stories.

The moonlight coming from the windows and cracks in the doorways shoned on my hands. I could smell the blood on them.

I leaned against one of the boxes and sighed. I heard someone pour cups of sake from inside the kitchen. I wondered what it was like to join in on their drunken conversations and laugh with them. I once tasted sake when Tomomitsu visited another Noble, and it tasted amazing, to put it simply. I guess that had something to do with me being an evil dôji. We all seemed to be made of some sort of addiction, us dôji, some fault to fit in with the Seven Deadly Sins.

"Heyy, have you guys any clue as to who's killing us off?" I suddenly heard a man from inside slur. The room went solemn. I was surprised that these stupid humans could figure out that simple fact so soon.

"No. I once saw shadows outside the window on my way here the other day." Another answered.

"Who do you think I-it must be?"

"Maybe it's the Noble?"

"Nah, he is a jerk, but he's too… well, fancy for that." They all laughed.

"What if it's that guy Yamato and his dolly Ultimo?"

_Ultimo!_ I leaned closer to the doorframe.

"You do have a point there." One of the more sober men said. "I heard he kills off those related to royalty every chance he gets."

"Yeah, but it's for the 'good of the people'!" The room laughed again.

Ultimo killing others? It eerily reminded me of myself. Were Dunstan and Regula lying about Good and Evil? Wouldn't Ultimo, for murder, be considered one of us evil dôji?

"You know, I once met that Yamato. He's a good kid, you know. Kind of loud, but good. He tried to persuade me to join his army of bandits!" I doubted this man's story from his drunken tone.

"Oh yeah? What does he look like?"

"He looks like every girl's goddamn fantasy, that's what! He's tall, dark and handsome! Man, I wonder why he never just settled down to marry."

"What about that Ultimo? I heard that he looks like a girl!"

"Hey, he probably is!"

"So where'd you see him?"

"Wayy south of here. I think he's heard of the Princess' engagement to the Emperor, so he's saving this place for last."

"Since when were you a battle organizer?"

South of here… if only I could venture there. But with those stupid rules the Noble placed on me, I couldn't.

The workers started to delve more and more into their drunken stammering, until it was unintelligible. I turned a deaf ear to them, and instead directed my attention to my hands. It gave me a deep satisfaction to look at them. Though the smell of human blood is unpleasant, the sight is not. I always have some sort of primal sadistic pleasure when I cut something up. Comes along with being evil, I suppose.

I heard a gasp, followed by a crash of boxes and a light thump landing next to me.

"Princess?" I saw her long, light-colored hair in the darkness. It was strange that I didn't hear her thoughts or her heart coming closer – if she had just shown up now.

"Jealousy! I didn't think that you'll be here!" Her eyebrows were knotted in an anxious expression.

"I can't be with people of my own rank?" I answered, sarcastic.

I saw her shadow slump lower, as if I had just punched her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Why are _you_ here, Princess?" I ignored her apology. Damn humans, at least the ones that seemed the most _humane_, were always apologizing for others.

"You'll tell my uncle," The Princess bitterly said, crossing her small, delicate arms in defense.

"And you are already refusing his simple request of marrying the emperor – the most important person in Japan. I'm sure nothing you tell me will make that predicament worse." I tried to see what the stupid reason was in her mind, yet I saw nothing. Whatever it was, it was something that she guarded with her heart.

"But it's exactly why I can't marry!"

"What sneaking out at night to the kitchen? Yes, I suppose the emperor would not want a fat wife," I rolled my eyes.

"No! It's not that!" Her whispers were growing more and more agitated.

"If you're not going to tell me, then don't continue the subject." I said, starting to turn away.

"W-well," Her head bobbed up and down, deciding. "I'm in love with Yamato the Bandit!" She blurted out.

The pause after she said that rang in my ears. _Of all the reasons… the fuck?_

"…Have you even _met _him?" I was dumbfounded. I felt my eyes grow wide – from either genuine shock or disgust.

_Or envy?_

"I admit that I haven't…" The Princess continued. "But I have been tracking his location and listening to my servant's conversations about him ever since his rebellion started." She looked up, meeting my eyes.

"This may sound hypocritical – coming from someone of status that he opposes, but I _do _believe in his cause. I mean, look around us! This palace is collapsing. Nobles, including my uncle, are corrupted. Everyone is greedy. Yamato can stop this. Especially now that he has that powerful being Ultimo."

"So it's admiration then." I looked away. It was like adding salt to a wound. Just the sounds of Yamato and Ultimo's names turned my voice into a sneer, and my mind malevolent and cynical.

"Maybe," The Princess sighed. "But either way – it's why I come here and listen to them tell stories about _him_."

We sat in an uncomfortable silence. Or rather, I did. The walls surrounding her thoughts about Yamato were suddenly pushed down; enveloping me with every thought, wish and fantasy she had about him. I was nauseated

_And envious_

at hearing her longing for that damn bandit. It was the first time that I thought my ability – to read minds and hearts – was a curse.

"Jealousy! Your hands!" The Princess suddenly said. In response to hearing her mind, my fingers were digging into the floorboards. The silver moonlight, coupled with the dim golden candlelight from the kitchen, showed the blood of the people I killed on my hands.

The Princess looked sickened.

"Did you do this to yourself? Where did you – Why is it _so much _blood?" Her voice wavered octave to octave.

"It's nothing. I probably spilt a drink on them." I hid them under my garments.

"That can't be it! Tell me! Did my uncle do this to you? Did he-"

"Stop it." I stood up. I glared down at her, trying to repeat over and over in my thoughts that she was inferior to me.

"What is it with humans?" I finally asked her, my eyes narrowing. "Why do you all always ask about each other's welfare instead of caring about yourselves and minding your own business?"

The Princess gazed up at me, her hands placed on her lap. 'You talk about humans as if you're not one of them." She responded quietly.

"Well, when you're not treated as one, it's hard to relate." I shot back.

"Can you just tell me if my uncle is doing this to you?" She pleaded, her voice back into a whisper.

"…I _do_ whatever Tomomitsu tells me to do." I answered her.

I left her with a horrified expression on her face.

For the rest of my stay at the palace, the Princess and I never looked at each other. I didn't read her heart either. I couldn't. I never told Tomomitsu that we conversed that night or what we talked about.

On the day before we were set to leave, Tomomitsu entered his room humming merrily, even packing some of his belongings. It didn't take me long to find out why. The minds of everyone that lived in the palace were shell-shocked.

The Princess had agreed to marry the Emperor Kotsutsubono.

It turns out that this, a disheveled Princess of the Moonlight had came to the Noble's room herself, pleading for him to immediately send a messenger to the "gallant" Emperor, telling him that she has accepted his offer in marriage.

"My dear Jealousy, you do look bored at hearing this news!" Tomomitsu commented when he himself related this story to me.

"The sooner we leave the better." I simply responded, leaning my head on my hand. I was commanded to sit in his room until we were to leave. The Noble was in too good of a mood to punish me for talking back.

Tomomitsu's door quickly slid open, and one of the Princess' servants almost fell down in a hurry.

"The Princess," She huffed, pointing not at the Noble, but at me. "Wants to see you to say goodbye."

"Well well well," The Noble chuckled, his crinkled eyes just slits as he looked at me. "You might as well go, Jealousy. You don't want to leave your _friend _waiting, do you?"

I gritted my teeth as I followed the heavy woman out of his room.

"Aren't you going to lead me to her?" I asked, when after a few minutes she just standing outside the Noble's room with me.

"The Princess wants to see you alone."

She pointed another of her ham-like fingers down the hallway. I sighed in irritation and followed her directions.

I found the Princess in the courtyard, sitting among the various muscari, lily, and peony plants. I slid the door closed behind me. My sandals barely made a sound against the hard-compacted earth

"What do you want?" I asked, wanting to get this over with. She didn't greet me, continuing to just sit quietly in her spot. Her back, facing me, was hunched and shaking. I realized at that point that she was crying.

It was another flaw in humans that I never really understood. Their need to spout tears when their emotions overloaded them. Men that I've killed often cried, groveling at my feet while shouting about their wives and children. I wondered if humans cried for show, or if some stupid nature inside of them made them cry every time they couldn't deal with something.

"Why is it?" The Princess whipped around, showing her pale face to me. Despite her tears, her face was not red; unlike other humans I have seen crying. She dimmed the moon's beauty in comparison.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me down next to her. My mind ignited a thousand thoughts from her touch; _Shit/Tomomitsu's neice touched me/I could slash her right here/who the hell does she think she is/she _touched _me _until everything became an internal mess. On the outside, meanwhile, I maintained an annoyed expression as her eyes stared into mine.

"Did my uncle tell you that I accepted?" She tried to calm her voice. I nodded.

"But you know that I have had no interest or intention of marrying that man, right?" She shook my arm with each word.

I sighed in forced exasperation and arrogance. "What are you getting at, Princess?"

"That's the point! I just… all my short life, I've been guided along this supposedly 'good' path into my future, and I've _never, ever _made any of the decisions."

I peeled her hand of my arm. "Princess, it's rather shallow for you to self-pity." I said, my voice as acidic as I could try.

"Even if it's the truth? That I'm just a tool?" She talked back. Before I could roll my eyes or tell her that she's being melodramatic, she grabs my hands again and cups them together.

"We can run away, Jealousy. Right now. We can run south of here to where Yamato is camping and we can join his rebellion! T-Then I can finally meet him, and you can be away from my uncle!" She eagerly looked at me. Her eyes made it the first time that I've hesitated in anything as simple as a response.

"No, Princess. You know that we can't. You know that you can't. If you do, more of your servants will die, your palace will crumble to ruins, and you yourself will likely be raped and killed." I tried making my voice acidic as possible. Something inside of me propelled me to try to make her break into pieces as small as possible. And I couldn't.

"It's better than simply doing nothing day after day, and staying as still and clean as a doll." Her voice broke, and instead of speaking any further she placed something small in my hand before letting go of me.

I looked down to see that she had placed three spiders in my hand.

"One of my less… wiser servants tried to kill them last week. I stopped him, telling him what you told me. I haven't seen him since, but I've been seeing these spiders continuously. I still can't bear the sight of them, knowing that they have more freedom that I do. Maybe you'll know what to do with them." Her confident gaze told me that she knew exactly what happened to her servants. I knew that our conversation was finally ending. I felt, again, that feeling that I now knew didn't quite place with sympathy, in my soul. _Not this time_, I thought as I quickly strode back to Tomomitsu, stomping out those feelings with each step.

The next morning I felt liberated. After all, Tomomitsu commanded me to not venture out of the palace grounds until we left. Now, if that pompous Noble forgot, I could go anywhere the minute our carriage went past the gates. Like the day we came, today was raining.

Tomomitsu spent the morning walking down the many hallways, with me at his side, holding his chin high while smiling over his victory. The Emperor would be coming to this palace three weeks from now. The servants bowed in submission to him, not daring to look me in the eyes. I wondered if they knew I was the one murdering them mercilessly.

Like the day we came, today was raining. The same cumulonimbus clouds from before. I looked around at my surroundings, noticing that somehow, everything seemed bleaker. I noticed the cracks in the wooden walls of the palace, the droopy, dying leaves of the trees surrounding it, and the bare garments of the servants bidding us farewell.

I suddenly felt a scratching inside my clothes. I felt inside the pocket, that one of the spiders was still there. I must have simply dropped them inside with no thought after I left the princess.

It was a simple tepidariorum spider, yet it furiously ran up and down my fingers in curiosity. I tried blowing the damn thing off my hand, but in defiance it bit me. If it bit a human they would have swelled and itched for two days. But because I wasn't one, I didn't even feel it.

"You can't hurt me. Stop trying to." I told it. It looked up at me in confusion, figuring out the same. We were the same, in a way. He was probably envious that I was larger than him and had more control, and I was envious that he was small enough to escape situations others couldn't.

I looked around, seeing that Tomomitsu continued to arrogantly stroll to his carriage, and the servants continued to passively bow without sneaking a glance at us. Breaking away from the Noble, I quickly walked over to one of the trees next to the door of the palace. I placed the spider on one of the branches, and it quickly jumped to a higher sitting.

"Jealousy! What are you doing?" I heard Tomomitsu yell over the sudden cracks of thunder. I let out a huff and went back, entering his carriage. It creaked as the wheels started turning, leading us out past the gates. I heard the loud slam of them closing behind us.

"That was a wondrous stay, was it not?" He continued to laugh with himself in his seat, even though his opinion was directed at me.

"Hm." I stared straight ahead, resisting the urge to look back. We were leaving the palace, and that was that. Tomomitsu really wasn't suited to be my master, since I was learning about everything on my own, without his help. The Princess was just some silly pretty girl, and that was that too. Yet it was the first time in a long while that I felt envy with such force, and it was because of her.

_She's just a feeble human, _I thought, as another thunder cracked and the dirt road started to bump under the wheels. I quickly pushed every memory - every sensory touch, smell, sight - I had of her out of my mind. But the envy that she was in love with Yamato and that being – my rival, the reason I existed – Ultimo stayed with me.


End file.
